The details of Chance's situation...

Holiday season is yet again upon us, which we typically expect to be filled with surprises and joy... along with egg nog, crazy in-laws, and repetitive Christmas music. This year, however, I was abruptly hit with news that was a not-so-joyful holiday surprise. Chance, my 19-year-old Quarter Horse, was diagnosed with a rare form of aggressive cancer. Before going into the details of the biopsy results and what our expectations are, I wanted to provide a brief background of my life with Chance... so that you all can get a “chance” (puns are fun!) to know him for who he is.

I say “who” he is, because he’s more than just an animal. He’s more than a pet. He has consistently been my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, and my fuzzy lil’ “Chancey Poo” since I was a preteen. 

I’ve adored horses since I was able to recognize what a horse was. I first fell in love with an old horse named “Coke” in California, where I grew up. I then proceeded to go through the whole, “OMIGOD MOM AND DAD I WANT A PONY!!!” phase from ages three through... infinity. The phase never stopped. From age four I began saving every stinking penny I earned or found and adding it to the “pony fund.” Birthdays, I asked for pony money. Christmas, I asked for pony money. By the age of eleven or twelve, I had $4,000 saved up, had been riding for a couple of years, and was “ready” to buy a horse. (Granted, I didn’t quite comprehend the ongoing monetary burden of a horse at the time. Oops. Thanks, mom and dad!)

I swore I’d never get a white horse. This was due to pure laziness because I had NO interest in continually having to wash a horse down in order for him to look clean. I wanted a bay (brown) or chestnut (dark orange) to match the color of dirt. Again, I was eleven years old... and laziness and spoiled rotten-ness were both attributes that greatly ran my life. Sharon Enteen from Falcon Ridge Stables soon introduced me to this straggly flea bitten grey horse recently shipped in from Kentcky. (For you non-horsey people... “flea bitten grey” is a type of color, it doesn’t mean that he was severely bitten by fleas. Just wanted to clarify). I hopped on him, rode him in a couple of lessons and in a show, and was sold. With a little help on the “closing fees” of the sale from Grandma and Grandpa, I had officially purchased my horse. He was mine. And he was a grey. Love knows no color, though... and I didn’t mind a bit (with the exception of the 4:00AM wake-ups to clean poop stains off of him before a show).

He was a quiet and sturdy horse. Nothing phased him, so we named him “Silent Knight.” We did horse shows, trail rides, lessons... the whole nine yards. It didn’t take long for Chance and I to begin bonding. I taught him tricks and was able to get him from the pasture without a lead line. I would holler “CHANCEY POOOOO!” and he’d come running. We soon found out that he wasn’t so silent after all. He was shy at first, but once he got comfortable in his shoes, his personality skyrocketed. This consisted of goofy faces, adorable (and successful) forms of begging, doing the “chance dance” (which consisted of jumping up and down a few times after a successful jumping course), peeing EVERY FREAKING TIME we were in the line up for the judge at shows, and getting pissed off any time I was on a cell phone. (He has been known to knock cell phones out of my hand on more than one occasion. “MOM, I am WAY COOLER than ANYONE you’re talking to!”)

It became apparent that “Silent Knight” was no longer an appropriate name, since he was more of a loud and goofy joker than anything. We changed his name to “Jump at the Chance”... which seemed far more appropriate.

It got to a point where the job market got rocky and my dad was laid off from his very steadily paying job... so we had to make a change. We discontinued showing (which is incredibly expensive) and moved Chance to a less expensive barn. I visited him as often as possible, priding myself in his gorgeous tail and the unique whorls (cow-licks) he had on his body. One vet told me they were God’s “fingerprints.” I’m not much of a religious person... but, if there is a God, I wouldn’t doubt that this horse was carefully created by His hands.

Years progressed and priorities changed. I graduated high school and began working full time. I moved out on my own and demanded an independent life. This took a toll on how often I was able to see Chance, which ate away at me for the years I was working 50-60 hours each week... which resulted in seeing Chance a couple times per month at most. I know Chance missed me. People at the barn would call or text me, telling me that Chance would wait at the fence for me for hours, pawing at the gate. “Where’s my mom? She promised she’d come out today...”

Written through tears, that part of my life obviously still holds a lot of guilt for me, especially considering the recent diagnosis. I always figured that I’d have plenty of time with him when I had enough money or enough time or what have you. I figured he’d live to be 30-35 years old, and that my children could learn to ride on him. I didn’t feel rushed. Regardless, he waited at the gate for me. Every day. And when I finally found time in my “busy schedule” to visit him, he’d come running. I’d cry to him about boys and work and money and all the things he didn’t REALLY care about... but he at least pretended to. He’d walk toward me and rest his nose on my shoulder when I cried... or he’d nip at my butt to get a laugh. He always knew what I needed to feel like everything was going to be okay. We have always had that close of a connection.

A few months ago, right after my 25th birthday, I realized that I had enough stability in my life to get involved with Chance again. I paid to have him moved closer to where I live in Marietta and began seeing him far more frequently. The cost has been difficult to get used to, but I’m making it work (thank you, Brandon). Chance and I were like old best friends, of course. We started right back where we left off. He still remembered all of his tricks and still came running when I called him from the pasture. The connection never left, despite the few hiatuses I was forced to take from consistently staying in touch. It didn’t matter to him. I was still his and he was still mine.

About two months ago, I noticed a large bump protruding from the side of Chance’s face. I hoped for a bug bite or a slight allergic reaction. With the help of the barn manager, Carolyn, we got a vet out there once we noticed the bump enlarging. The biopsy was done last week and I received the results yesterday, December 21st, 2011. The only news I received was that the tumor was cancerous. I was referred to a surgeon for further information and details regarding Chance’s situation.

I spoke with the surgeon at Auburn today. Chance's cancer is in the "sarcoma" family, which is a very invasive tumor. The surgeon said that these tumors are typically not able to be 100% removed by surgery, since they're so aggressive and since this one is infiltrated into the jaw bone. We will be getting Chance to Auburn on Tuesday for radiographs (to see how far the cancer has spread throughout the mandible) and to check his lymph nodes (letting us know if the cancer has spread throughout his head). From there we will see if surgery is possible or humane. 

If most of the tumor CAN be removed without removing too many teeth, the residual cancer cells can be treated with chemotherapy (less expensive with a lower success rate of 60-80%) or radiation (more expensive, but with a coinciding higher success rate of 90%). In total, we're looking at $3,000 to $15,000. Half of this is due before the surgery and the other half is due upon completion.

The only thing I can feasibly come up with in such a short period of time is enough for the chemotherapy. This would be done in three treatments and can be done at home. (My local vet can do it). It will be injected directly into the site.

The radiation therapy has two options. The first option is radiation "beads"... which are placed within the cancerous area and... well... release radiation. At this point in the conversation I was sobbing and not retaining much information, so I don’t know further details on this approach. I do know that this option is $5-6,000, not including transportation fees and initial examination fees, etc. The second radiation option is something called a linear accelerator? It shoots beams of radiation directly into the site and occurs over 8-12 treatments, requiring anesthesia for each. This would put us at $10,000-$13,000, without the cost of transportation and examination.

SO. Step one: Find a truck and trailer by this Tuesday morning. I found one transportation service that is $225 for the trip there. I still have a few more phone calls to make.

Step two: Get Chance to Auburn for X-rays... and check lymph nodes to see if surgery is even a remote possibility. If cancer has spread to the lymph nodes, there will be no use for surgery.

If we pass step two (fingers and toes and hooves crossed), Chance will go into surgery on Wednesday. It is unlikely that the surgeon will be able to remove all of the tumor, as previously stated. If this is the case, without successful chemotherapy or radiation following the surgery, Chance has about 6 months to one year to comfortably live. This is why the chemotherapy or radiation is necessary. This is why I need to go sell my body on the streets for extra cash. Just kidding. But seriously.

People keep telling me to make the logical decision and not the emotional decision. I have no intentions of selfishly keeping this horse alive due to my attachment to him or the immeasurable amount that he means to me. The only way I will go through with the surgery is if there is a relatively high chance of success and that the horse can continue to enjoy life.

The tumor is only just now getting in the way of his eating. We've added water to his feed morning and night, which allows him to slurp up his feed. It is, however, growing very rapidly. Without some form of action ASAP, his health will rapidly decline.

He's my angel. He's my sanity. He's the only consistently good thing I've had in my life since I was a kid. He's too young and too good to go. I know it's cliche to say, but this just isn't stinkin' fair. For him or for me.

The best option we have as far as we know now is surgery followed by radiation. I’ve created a PayPal account in hopes of donations. Anything and everything will be helpful. The initial examination alone is $300, and the cost of transportation is looking to be a little over $200.

The surgeries + treatment for residual cells (chemo or radiation) could range from $3,000 to $13,000, as stated above.

If anyone has an idea of what the winning lottery numbers may be, please let me know ASAP.

I truly hope that, with your help, we can give Chance a chance. He deserves it, more than anyone I’ve ever known.